Life With Dad:Laughing Through Dementia: Life With Dad: Adjustments....

Life With Dad:Laughing Through Dementia: Life With Dad: Adjustments....: This is the alarm that Dad had attached to him when he first went into the nursing home.  Since he was extremely "active" and mobile, t...

Life With Dad: Adjustments....

This is the alarm that Dad had attached to him when he first went into the nursing home.  Since he was extremely "active" and mobile, they would attach this to him so that when he would get up out of his chair, the alarm would sound and they would know that he was "on the prowl"!  Dad became wheelchair-bound after about five days in the nursing home due to over-medication.  He had physical therapy until he could get strength back in his legs. 

This would be the bag of peanut M&M's that Dad kept in his pocket!!  Proof that they WILL melt if you keep them in a warm place.  He loves sweets and would put them in his overall pockets.  He actually did eat these even though they were a little bit melted.  He carries many things in his overall pockets....flashlights, wallet, sweets, knife, and whatever he else he hasn't misplaced somewhere!

Once a loved one with dementia is admitted to a nursing home, it is a continual battle of getting medications adjusted, and also getting the loved one used their new surroundings.  With the memory problems that come with dementia, we found it easier to just agree with Dad when he would talk about things.  He still thought he was in the hospital and that the doctor would be in to tell him that he could go home.  We used that to our advantage by telling him that when the doctor said he was "okay" to go home, then he would get out.  My Mom had a hard time telling him these little "white lies" at first.  I had to remind her that he most likely would not remember what she told him anyway.  This picture shows Dad in the second room that he has occupied. They moved him closer to the nurses station so that they could keep a closer eye on him.

Notice in the picture above how his mouth on the left side turns downward?  The doctor was certain that Dad had suffered some mini-strokes, although we never got the MRI done on his brain to prove that.  They tried to sedate him due to his anxiety, but even with sedation he became too anxious to finish the MRI.  Some of the medications that he takes have a risk of causing mini-strokes, but they also help with his anxiety and agitation.

This shows Mom at the ballgame of my oldest son, Alex, on the night that Dad became so disoriented and agitated while she was gone.  It was hard for Mom to really enjoy the game because of her concern for her husband.  This was taken on Saturday, and on Monday we took him to the hospital, and on Tuesday he was admitted to the nursing  home.  Tip #1: check with your parents to see if they have purchased nursing home insurance.  Fortunately, my parents had invested in a policy when they were in their 50's, and it was a great investment.  Once my Dad went into the nursing home, Mom didn't have to pay the premium any longer.  The majority of the monthly cost is paid by this insurance.  This has been a huge relief for my Mom.  The first few months we did check through the billing from the nursing home to make sure that there weren't any unnecessary charges (and that did pay off since we did find a few mistakes).  I am not saying that they intentionally added extra charges, but just like any bill you receive, you should check it for accuracy.

This picture shows Dad playing with a strap from his wheelchair lift.  These types of things would keep him "occupied" when he could not walk around.  There were times when we went to see him and he thought that his wheelchair was his mower.  One time I had to pretend to plug in the charging cord from his electric razor into his wheelchair as the battery charger for his mower!  Anything to keep him satisfied.

Once you get a loved one put into a nursing home, it doesn't mean that you do not have to worry about them any more.  Above you see my Mom, sister Robin, and me with our gowns on when the nursing home thought that Dad had Scabies.  Scabies is a very itchy skin condition that it caused by mites, and skin-to-skin contact from someone who is already infected.  Dad was tested and after the doctor confirmed the diagnosis, he was confined to his room.  When we went in to see him, we had to wear the gowns and latex gloves.  He was not allowed to leave his room except to take a bath and then a prescription lotion was applied to his body and left on for about eight hours.  This was done twice during his isolation time.  He became extremely bored during this week, as he was used to roaming around the facility.

Next up....a rash on his leg!  We never really found the culprit for this one...best anyone could decide was that the detergent irritated his skin from his socks.  So, a reminder to you all....just because they are not at home any longer does not mean that you can relax!  My Mom receives calls quite often that Dad has taken a tumble and scraped up his knees or was not actually injured, but he continues to fall periodically.  It is always a little bit frightening when you see on the caller ID that it is the nursing home.  My poor Mom....it used to be worrying about getting that late night phone call about her kids, and now it is concern about getting the call about her mom or her husband in the nursing home.  I will leave you with a video of Dad out imitating the ducks at the nursing home.  Thank you for following and supporting my family in this journey.

Life With Dad:Laughing Through Dementia: Life With Dad: Into the Nursing Home...

Life With Dad:Laughing Through Dementia: Life With Dad: Into the Nursing Home...: Trying to make the final decision as to  when to place a loved one in a nursing home can be an agonizing one for many people.  This...

Life With Dad: Into the Nursing Home...

Trying to make the final decision as to when to place a loved one in a nursing home can be an agonizing one for many people.  This one was taken out of Mom's hands when Dad had his night of confusion and delusions.  He became agitated and belligerent with my husband while Mom and I had left to go to a ballgame.  After observing him at the hospital for one night, his doctor arranged for him to be taken from the hospital to the nursing home to alleviate any more confusion for him.   Mom and I went to the facility to fill out the appropriate paperwork to get him admitted, and made arrangements for moving his lift chair into his room.  My daughter and I took the chair apart and hauled it to the nursing home, and they helped with moving it in and putting it back together.  Dad spent his first night there on September 11, 2012.  The picture above shows him on the first day he arrived.  He is with his oldest granddaughter and her two boys, plus his wife.  We gathered up some of his favorites things from home, pictures and a few other items to put around in his room so that he would feel more comfortable there. This is a very painful adjustment in one's life, and we wanted to make it as easy as we could for Dad.

This picture shows my Dad in the background asleep in his wheelchair, and my Grandma in the foreground, also asleep.  Did I forget to mention that my Mom has her mother AND her husband in the same nursing home now?  My Grandma turned 101 years old last July!  She has been in the nursing home for almost 10 years now.  My Dad didn't really comprehend that he was at the same place as his mother-in-law.  He used to go there with my Mom to visit her and would tease her all of the time.  Dad thought he was still at the hospital.  When he saw a calendar in his room and he read the name of the nursing home at the top...he looked at me and asked me where that place was.

Here he is standing at the nurse's station "checking things out".  He liked to hang out where the action was. Now...let me give you a HUGE piece of advice for getting a loved one settled into a nursing home....MAKE SURE THAT YOU CHECK THE MEDICATIONS LIST THAT THE FACILITY HAS FOR YOUR FAMILY MEMBER!!  Here is what happened to Dad: when he was admitted to the nursing home, he was walking and moving around without the aid of a walker or wheelchair.  The facility got his medication record from the local pharmacy and that is what they started administering to him.  By the fifth day or so, he became very lethargic and could not talk very well.  He also had trouble even feeding himself at meals.  Eventually my Mom thought to ask the nurse for a med list to see what he had been given, and then she discovered the problem.  My Mom was not giving him several of the medications that were listed, or she was giving him lower doses.  One medicine, Ativan, she had tried while he was still at home, but it had adverse affects for Dad.  He had not been taking that one at home, and yet the facility was giving it to him three times a day!  We did some medication adjustments and then he gained awareness back.  Then he faced the problem of weakness in his legs, due to not walking for three or four days.  They had to use a lift to get him in and out of bed or to the bathroom, and he was confined to a wheelchair until the physical therapy got the strength back in his legs.

This is a picture that shows him after he was able to move his feet again. At first he could not even lift his feet to put them on the foot rests.  Eventually he was able to move his feet to push the wheelchair around without having to be pushed, but at the beginning he had to be wheeled from place to place. It was a process that took several weeks to gain back what he had lost.  This is why I warn you to check with the facility to see what medications the pharmacy or doctor have on record!

Remember, this is what he looked like when he first went into the nursing home.  He is with my oldest daughter and her two boys.  Physically, he was doing well and had no need for assistance when it came to walking.  After the medication mix-up, he had to get his strength back up in his legs.  He also could not get in and out of bed by himself, therefore the facility had to charge more each day to use the lift to help him with bathroom time and bedtime.  It was a very frustrating and challenging time for everyone.  Once the medication was straightened out, Dad started enjoying some of the facility activities again.  For a man who didn't used to enjoy music that much, he actually seemed to enjoy going to the music programs.  He also seemed to appreciate having people around to talk to and joke with.  When he was at home, he didn't get out around people a lot, unless he went to a ballgame or to a doctor's appointment.  He liked teasing all of the workers who came in to help him...he even thought that one of them was my brother, Stub, who passed away in 2003!  This guy would go along with my Dad calling him "Stub" and would even answer him appropriately.

 This picture shows Dad in his new private room.  He started out in a semi-private room without a roommate, but his room was located at the far end of the hallway.  Eventually, the facility asked if he would like to be moved to a private room which had just opened up, that was also closer to the nurses station.  He required more assistance when he became wheelchair-bound, so it helped the nurses to have him where they could keep an eye on him easier.  My final piece of advice for this installment:  Please communicate with the primary caregiver (which is usually the spouse) and make sure that they are NOT wearing themselves out by taking care of the person with Dementia!!  My Mom did an amazing job of taking care of my Dad while he was at home....and it IS a tough decision to make.  Sometimes the caregiver will feel too guilty to make that choice, even though it may be in the best interest of both involved.  Once he was in the facility and my Mom had time to relax at home, she commented several times about how she wasn't aware of the toll it had taken on her.  She was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes while he was still at home.  Please make sure that you DO NOT overlook the caregiver, while you are focusing on getting the best help for the one with dementia.  Here is an article that may give you some insight:

http://www.alz.org/care/alzheimers-dementia-healthy-caregiver.asp

  

In the next installment I will talk about more challenges that Dad faced once he went into the facility, and hopefully give you some tips to make the process easier on the family.  I also want to point out that by telling you these tips and talking about our experience---I am in NO WAY blaming the facility or any of the workers there.  I feel that they are caring individuals who are trying to make this life transition easy on my Dad, but these are issues that happened to him, and most likely could happen to anyone.  I give a huge THANK YOU to all who work with and care for the elderly population!!  Have a great week everyone!