Life With Dad:Laughing Through Dementia: Two Anniversaries

Life With Dad:Laughing Through Dementia: Two Anniversaries: As of September 11, 2013, Dad has been in the nursing home for a year.  I wish that I could say it has been smooth sailing and unev...

Two Anniversaries

As of September 11, 2013, Dad has been in the nursing home for a year.  I wish that I could say it has been smooth sailing and uneventful for him (and for the rest of us), but it hasn't.  Dementia continues to twist and change Dad into someone that I hardly recognize most of the time.  There are glimpses of him that appear every so often....but for the most part, this is not the same man that I grew up with.

The picture above shows Dad after one of his many haircuts that I have given him.  Every time I go to cut his hair he always asks me where the barber is....then I explain that I am the barber....then he asks me when I became a barber....we go through this same exchange EVERY TIME!!  He was also sporting a bruise and scrape on his head from taking a tumble outside.  Yes, he escaped and got outside where he tripped over the curb.  Luckily, he was not severely injured and the workers were able to help him up and bring him back inside.

He also had problems with Edema, or swelling of his legs with water retention because of congestive heart failure. Several times when I went to visit him, his legs would be like sausages....swollen and tight.   He was given Lasix to help with this problem, and was also to keep his feet up during the day more....unfortunately, he does not like to sit. It was also a problem to have him on that medication when he was already taking Risperidone, these two medicines should not be mixed.

Then it is believed by many who work there, and family members, that he has suffered another mini stroke (possibly more than one).  We really have no way of finding out for sure since a baseline MRI or CT Scan was never done (Dad was sedated and still panicked when it started so they didn't finish it).  Without that image of his brain from back when he was in the hospital in May of 2012, there isn't a way to compare it to his brain image now.  Therefore, putting him through that would be upsetting to him, and would still not really give us a clear picture as far as how much damage the stroke(s) have caused.  And even if we got the MRI or Scan completed and did find out he had suffered another mini stroke....what would they do for him??  That was the question that I posed to the staff during his latest "care plan" meeting.

During the meeting, it brings together a large number of the nursing home staff plus family members, and we discuss how he is getting along and what the plan is for him now.  Along with the stroke that is suspected, he also had an infection of what they thought was his bladder (couldn't get a UTI test done and they are still not sure) so he was given an antibiotic.  When that didn't seem to get him acting and feeling better, they switched to a different antibiotic and also gave him a steroid to give his system a boost to fight the infection. 

Unfortunately, sometimes when a patient is given several antibiotics a condition called Clostridium Difficile (Antibiotic Diarrhea) can occur.  It is called C Diff for short.  That is what Dad had recently. Treatment requires an additional antibiotic to kill the disease bacteria so the healthy bacteria can return. Most often Flagyl (metonidazole) and Vancocin (vancomycin) are used. It usually takes 3-5 days to see improvement, and complete relief of symptoms should result by the end of the 10th day of treatment.  It is very common in nursing home patients, and there is a 20% chance that he will get it again.  It is just part of the "nature of the beast" when you are dealing with so many different health issues....when you treat one issue, you may cause something new to flare up.  It always seems that when he is treated for one thing, something else happens.

It has gotten to the point where Dad refuses to wear his upper dentures (hasn't worn the lower ones since before he went into the nursing home) and most times he doesn't even have his glasses on.  He is also on a soft diet since he doesn't have his teeth in.  He still likes to chat when we go to see him, unfortunately it is sometimes difficult to understand what he is saying.  Even when we do understand what he says, it doesn't always make sense.

(Dad sitting on the tire fender, with his dad and I am not sure who the other man is.)

The last time they came in to check his cognitive skills, he was asked what year it is....he was pretty sure that it is 2024 or 2025.  This is confusing to me, since most of the time he is still in the past.  Last week when I talked to him he told me that he had bad news....we wouldn't be able to find fuel for the Oldsmobile any longer.  When I asked Mom if they ever had an Oldsmobile, she couldn't remember that they did.  He must have been back when he was with his parents.  

I have chosen not to take more pictures of him at this point now.  I do want to share some of the pictures that always remind me of how he still is in my mind.

This is at Teah's 8th Grade Graduation.  This is how I want to remember Dad.  I want to remember that smile and the quick wit that he had.  He still has some of his wit, but even it is not quite the same. 

For those who have family members that are in the early stages of Dementia or Alzheimer's....ENJOY them now!! It is a slow-moving process, but eventually you realize that your loved one has been replaced and it is almost as if a stranger has inhabited their body.  Stay involved in their care and make sure that you are aware of their medications. At the last care plan meeting we discovered that Dad was still on five different anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medicines.  He was prescribed some by his doctor, and some by a psychiatrist we took him to at the Special Care Unit.  There was a breakdown in communication between the two doctor offices, and that is how he was prescribed so many medicines.  We are hoping to slowly wean him off of a few of them now since he isn't as active.  He is in a wheelchair now.  He can stand with help and is receiving some physical therapy, but he is pretty weak at this point.  

My advice is to STAY INVOLVED in their care.  Have their medicines evaluated once every three months or so. Listen to the caregivers at the nursing home facility since they are with your loved one more than you are.  Because they are giving the care and dealing with your loved one through this difficult time, they become like a part of your family.  Appreciate them for the job that they do with your loved one.  I appreciate the workers and staff members that truly care for Dad and want what is best for him.  It was good to hear that even though they would sometimes get irritated with him hanging out by the nurses station constantly (and thinking he was working---even answering the phone at times).....they were kind of missing him now that he has been under the weather! 

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to Mom and Dad on October 3!  Mom has been so good to Dad through almost 60 years of marriage.  She continues that care by going to visit him almost every day, and staying involved in his care. It has been quite difficult for her to see him go down this path, but her faith keeps her strong through it all.  I admire and love my Mom for her strength and her faith!  Even though she is small in stature, she is HUGE in compassion, love and faith!