Life With Dad:Laughing Through Dementia: Life With Dad: Until We Meet Again....

Life With Dad:Laughing Through Dementia: Life With Dad: Until We Meet Again....: This is a picture of Dad when he was a little tyke...wearing overalls....which is what he was wearing when he was laid to rest this pas...

Life With Dad: Until We Meet Again....

This is a picture of Dad when he was a little tyke...wearing overalls....which is what he was wearing when he was laid to rest this past week.  Yes, his body finally found rest on November 1, 2013, just before midnight.  He was surrounded by his four children when he took his last breath.  We were holding his hand and making sure that he knew we all loved him.

The last time I visited Dad in the nursing home, this is the only photo that I could bear to take.  Somewhere around Labor Day weekend, Dad had suffered another stroke and he had just continued to slip away little by little. First he had what we are sure was another mini stroke.  This affected his motor skills, which kept him from walking. 

This was take in 2009, which is just before he was diagnosed with Dementia.  It has been a slow progression, but eventually it took him away from us, first mentally and then physically. After the last stroke, Dad also had some problems with infections.  The first one was Clostridium Difficile, which is a stomach infection that is caused by antibiotics.  Dad had been on antibiotics for respiratory problems.  C diff is highly contagious if you come into contact with the feces, therefore the nurses and staff had to wear gowns and rubber gloves when dealing with Dad.  

Dad with Punky...while he was still at home.  After Dad was diagnosed with the c diff, he really never bounced back to the way we was.  The nurses even started to miss having him hang out around their station like he used to.  At the care plan meeting for Dad in September, we had started working on weaning him from some of his six anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medicines.  (TIP: make sure that all doctors who deal with your loved one are aware of medicines prescribed.) 

A picture of Dad and Mom when they went to see my brother, Jim and his family in Omaha.  From the left is: Natalie, Allie, Lynette, Jim, Sophia, Dad, Mom and Punky.  Eventually Mom and Dad couldn't travel because it would confuse Dad too much to be away from his normal surroundings.  

  

Here is Dad on his front porch....one of his favorite places to hang out while he was still at the house.  He was "supervising" my husband, Terry as he worked on putting together a Weber grill.  I can't even begin to guess at how many hours Dad spent out on that porch, watching the world go by. 

The day before Halloween, I received a call from one of the nurses at the nursing home.  She couldn't get in touch with my Mom, so she called me.  She told me that Dad was not breathing very well and had not been very responsive for several days. The nurse had a call into Dad's doctor so that they could take him to the Emergency Room at the hospital.  I called Mom to have her check in with the nursing home.  It wasn't long before the nurse called back to say that they were taking him to the hospital.  I called all of my siblings, and headed back to Kansas.  My two sisters and brother also began the trip back to Beloit.  By the time we got there, he had been admitted to the Acute Care area of the hospital.  His breathing was labored and he was on oxygen.  He was also diagnosed with Sepsis. It is a potentially life-threatening infection that occurs when chemicals released in the body to fight the infection triggers inflammation throughout the body. The inflammation can cause changes that damage multiple organs, causing them to fail.  He was hooked up to intravenous antibiotics and fluids to keep him hydrated.  My sisters, brother and I all spent Wednesday night in his hospital room with him.  On Thursday he did not improve, even though the blood work showed that the infection was clearing somewhat.  

Mom and I went to the last football game of my youngest son, Shayne, in Wakefield on Thursday.  Shayne actually came through town and had x-rays done on his leg from a football injury.  Since we were already at the hospital, Natalie and I went to the ER to visit with Shayne and then went back to stay with Dad. My other sister and my brother came back to his room later that night.  By Friday morning, his doctor visited with us to explain that although the infection appeared to be clearing up, Dad was not improving.  It was an agonizing decision to make, but Dad had already made that for us years ago when he signed a Do Not Resuscitate form.  We felt that Dad would not want to remain in his current condition at that point.  That was when they stopped giving him antibiotic and hydrating fluid.  Dad was receiving morphine about every two hours just to keep him comfortable. The hospital staff went above and beyond to accommodate Dad's wishes and to support us.  One young nurse even sang to Dad, which seemed to soothe him for just a short time. (TIP: know your loved ones wishes as far as resuscitating.  If they have the DNR order, make sure that the doctor, hospital and nursing home are all aware of it.)

  The pastor from Mom's church came to pray over Dad. One of my classmates also prayed with us over Dad.  He was never one to believe that he had to attend church services every week to prove that he believed.  We still felt that we should pray over him before his final breath. Other family members arrived to visit with Dad before something happened. 

My oldest daughter, Briana, dancing with her Grandpa Wayne at her wedding in 2008.  One of my favorite pictures of Dad...this was very out of character for him to dance.  Briana made it back to the hospital on Friday afternoon to see her Grandpa.  She also brought her three-year-old son, Tavian, to the hospital and he added smiles and joy to the situation.  My other daughter, Teah, also made it to the hospital to see her Grandpa.  Dad continued to rest during the day and into the night on Friday.  It was shortly after 11:30 p.m. when Dad had a tremor in his body.  We all gathered around him and held his hand.  It was hard to tell if he was still breathing, but the sweet nurse assured us that his heartbeat was weak, but still there.  It was a tender moment for me and my siblings as we stood around his bed and told him that it was okay to let go.  His official time of death was 11:44 p.m.

We spent the weekend getting everything arranged for his funeral, scheduled for Tuesday, November 5.  We went to the funeral home and picked out the perfect casket for someone who did woodworking for years....it was made of pine and had a simple design.  It was perfect for Dad.  He was wearing his overalls and a flannel shirt.  We also put a toothpick in his overalls pocket, and a TV remote in his hand.  Mom had always told him that she would bury him with a TV remote. The kindness bestowed upon our family after Dad passed was amazing, and our family truly appreciated the love shown to us. The interesting thing, considering Dad had always lived in Beloit, was that very few people in that small town realized that his real name was Stanley Wayne Hewitt. 

My last few tips for those who may see this coming in the future with your parents or loved ones are this: make sure that they have written down what their wishes are for their funeral, and even help them arrange as much as they can ahead of time.  Also, having the financial paperwork in order would be helpful.  My Dad became worried about Mom after he retired in 1995, so he took out several life insurance policies.  We also found some older policies that must have been surrendered at some point.  Some of his policies were with companies that were no longer in business.  One policy was taken out when he was 17 years old.  My Mom also had one that her parents had taken out on her when she was 11 years old.  It has taken lots of time spent searching and calling to see where they all stand. A listing of all current policies would help those are left behind.  

Although is has been bittersweet this past week since Dad passed away, I do know that he is finally at peace and is able to breath without struggling.  The emotions that a family experiences while watching their loved one in pain is not something that I would ever wish on anyone, but it is a part of life sometimes.  Knowing that my Dad is fishing with my brother Stub and my Grandpa Deiter puts a smile on my face....even if I do have tears as well.  I don't really want to say good-bye Dad....because I believe that I will see you again. <3

**I received a message from Mike Jordan, our neighbor when we lived on the farm.  He received information about this photo that I would like to share:

I sent the photo to Elva Tice and she sent this reply. The school was on the corner south of your farm, (SW Corner). Here's her reply:

L to R (back row) Elva Tice, Wayne Hewitt, Geraldine Hewitt L to R (front row) Betty McCune, Jerry Broadbent, Alice McCune, Larry Hewitt

The school is Iowa School, District 83 located 3/4 mile west of the Harry Tice farm in Mitchell County, Kansas. Lillian Wiser was the teacher. Wayne Hewitt graduated from the 8th grade to go to Beloit High school at the end of that school year. The next year, Geraldine and Elva graduated from 8th grade to go to Beloit High School which left only 4 students in the school for the coming year (the four on the front row). So, the Iowa School Board decided to close the school at the end of that school year. The school building was sold to Knott's Berry Farm who moved the building to California and it stands there still--the original building on their site is known as the Little Red School House (at least it was about 1974-75 when Keith and I visited there).

The contraption to the right is a small non-electric ferris wheel with 4 seats positioned on a wheel that is operated by the person sitting at ground level who kicks/pushes the ground really hard which propels the wheel to move. As each of the four persons reach the ground, he/she kicks/pushes again and the wheel moves round and round. The ferris wheel was a prize that the school won (don't know the year) as part of a contest. We won the second prize. I don't remember exactly what we sold, but I believe that we received coupons for the purchase of items (sorta like the Campbell Soup Labels work). Our school submitted the second highest number of labels....and we won the ferris wheel as a prize. You had to be really careful unloading the ferris wheel because if it was fully loaded and the person at ground level got out, the person at the top would come crashing down from that weight. Actually, we did that on purpose because it was fun to go so fast!!!

Good to know Pleasant View is still going strong. What a legacy!! I have so many memories there. If you need more stories, don't hesitate to ask!

Elva Tice Michal